peep dressin'

half of the time i have no clue what vile, ridiculous, disgusting, ignorant thoughts slide between the spaces of my teeth, crawl over my lips only to spill on the ground. as if anything that comes out could ever become a coherent thought.

half the time i have no idea why we follow the blind herd only to be led to an empty drinking site. conditioned from the darkest depths of this wretched soul to the very skin that's stretched over the bones in my toes. as if anything similar to me could ever be a free thinker.


half the time i know not why we even are or better yet who we even are. half the time i only wish i knew while the other half i roam around carelessly gnawing away at the flesh presented before me as if i suffered from ADHD. incessantly chewing on my own fingertips, the taste of blue blood fills my mouth, until i finally reach the pearly white bone. i slowly tear myself apart because i have nothing else which i deem better. i attempt to end what i can't comprehend. within i'm a huddled figure, comforting myself. i hold my own hand. i love my own self. i am my own self.

iammyownself.
i ammyownself.
i am myownself.
i am m yownself
i am my ownself.
i am my ow nself.
i am my own self.

ON THE RECORD...

I'd like to clarify that all I know is that I don't know.



I had my head checked by a jumbo jet.
it wasn't easy, but nothing is. no.

20 January 2009.

It is only an hour a few minutes until Johntoya's date of birth.


Happy birthday my amazing friend.

The Inland Empire (not including Juve) can eat shit, catch an irremovable cancer, suffer from down syndrome, AIDS, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, & suffer for 40 long years & live to tell about it.

you see, not even the fucking devil himself will allow you to sleep in peace.
FUCK YOU CITY OF SHIT.

18 January 2009.

I am not a slave to injustice nor will my spirit crumble when the town yells for me to be hung at the gallows.

Anger and frustration birthed from ignorant rumors and childish behavior/belief.

Understand that I care not for what army empowers your weak mind, nor will I allow room for automated responses in my mind, but above everything else I will not serve as the ground for your feet.

Eat shit. Die twice.

14 Wednesday, January

the waters been running while i make my bed every night.
i can't find the problem & it just keeps flowing.



don't let anyone know about this, then i'd have to come up with sort of an explanation.

and how can I explain what I don't even comprehend!?

8, January 2009, Thursday

earthquakes in my head, they're far off the richter scale.


grey skies and fog.
clear indicators of an oncoming storm.

i just want to walk on sunshine.